How to learn Swedish in 1000 difficult lessons

I read a couple of days ago at realitysandwiches about The Mayfly Project. The idea behind this (likely) meme is to sum up your 2001 in a manner similar to the oft-cited description of the life of a mayfly: Born. Eat. Shag. Die.

The rule is only 20 words.

Naturally, I had to put my own hifalutin twist on it, which is not exactly in the spirit of the thing while yet sticking to the 20-word rule. (This could explain that there is some genetic reason behind my 8-year-old nephew's inclination to always add some unnecessary complication to things in an effort to be funny. He usually succeeds. Me, I wish I was as funny and creative as he is.)

Here is my take on the year:

2001: A Shakespearian tragedy

At home, it's double, double toilet trouble;
At work, job satisfaction's just about burst its bubble.

- by Francis S.